back

What's wrong with a little destruction? ...

Nov. 22, 2005 - Tuesday

--- single handedly ---

The word for the day is "unitard" ... Merriam Webster says unitard is:

Main Entry: uni·tard
Pronunciation: 'yü-n&-"tärd
Function: noun
Etymology: uni- + leotard
: a close-fitting one-piece garment for the torso, legs, and feet, and often for the arms

Now ... Their entry is great and all ... But to me, unitard just sounds like something else ... Unitard ...

unitard - single handedly retarded

That's the definition I'm giving it.

Nov. 18, 2005 - Friday

--- brilliant coffee ---

The English are all exaggerators ... Every last one of them. ... The hype and the hoopla runs wild in this country and everyone's in on it. ... Let me give you some examples ... The term "brilliant" is, quite simply, far over-used in this country. Not only that, it's used for the WRONG things. ... An English co-worker of mine went out for lunch yesterday and brought back another English co-worker of mine a coffee. ... When he gave the coffee to the other English bloke, he said: "Oh you've brought me a cofee! .... BRILLIANT! ... cheers."

"Brilliant?" I asked myself ... "No dude, it's just ... decaf" ...

But it gets worse ... because the English not only use "brilliant" to describe everything from the weather to cups of coffee to movies to music to the nap they took last Sunday afternoon. ... They also use ridiculous adjectives/adverbs for every remark they make. ... Very rarely is anything JUST "brilliant" ... It's always "absolutely brilliant" .... or "totally smashing!" .... or "unbelievably awesome" ...

don't be fooled.

They really don't mean every word of it. ... It's all English exaggeration. ... I mean, I even heard someone say: "It's not really that brilliant" when trying to describe the show Lost. ... Firstly, Lost is FUCKING brilliant. ... And second, who says "not really that brilliant" ... I don't get it. ... So I've decided to do something about it. Below is my English exaggeration conversion dictionary translation legend:

"Unbelievably, smashing, awesomely, totally fucking brilliant!" -- very good
"Totally fucking awesome!" -- pretty good
"Quite spectacular!" -- only so-so
"Absolutely brilliant" -- not very good
"Brilliant" -- absolute shit

Nov. 13, 2005 - Sunday

--- Updates ---

Alright. So I have lots of new pictures. ... Pics from my trips to Munich for Oktoberfest and to Barcelona for some sun. ... Check them out in the pictures section:

Here

Some stories about these trips:

Munich, Germany - Oktoberfest
- I spent the majority of my time there completely and totally drunk.
- German is one of the few languages that I have trouble pronouncing.
- German girls are hot
- Oktoberfest is the happiest place in the world.
- 16 beer tents
- Each tent fits 4000 drunk Germans
- From noon til midnight, I drank German beer out of giant, 1 litre glasses ... ate whole chickens with my bare hands ... sang stupid German polka songs ... danced on benches and tables with other wasted Germans ... and had more fun than a fat kid at the Krispy Kreme taste testing facility. ...

Barcelona, Spain - Wow, palm trees
- They have palm trees in Barcelona. .... I haven't seen a palm tree in about 15 years.
- Everyone in Barcelona talks with a lisp. ... I dunno why but I heard about a thousand different stories about where it came from.
- Spanish girls are hot
- Antoni Gaudi rocks
- They don't stop partying in Barcelona til dawn. ...
- I can't wait for my next trip back. Hopefully it'll be in much better company.

...

I've also decided to change the links on my page. Added links to the following:

My step brother - I figure I go to his page enough for it to be worthy of a link off my page.
Phil Liew - He barely writes, but man he's got a mouth like a Hoover.
Wil Metcalfe - Blue steel. He's a male model living the life of Zoolander in far off places. His page is also pretty impressive.

Nov. 12, 2005 - Saturday

--- The English Language---

The English language really doesn't make sense ... especially in England. Here, take a look:

Leicester = Lester
Bobbie = cop
Cheers = Thanks, Goodbye, Excuse me, Cheers
yeah? = eh?
Tosser = Wanker = Fucktard
Tank = Septic Tank which rhymes with 'Yank' = American
How are you going? = How are you doing?
Marylebone = Marley-bohn

Yeah I don't get it either. ... But the best line I've heard here so far was:

" Oi, can I bum a fag?" ...

fag = cigarette ... and of course "bum" is self explanatory cause we say that back in Canada too. ... But the first time I heard that line, I couldn't help but burst out laughing. ...

Nov. 07, 2005 - Monday

--- Internet I.V. ---

I might as well stick the internet in my veins. ... I need a 30 CC drip of Internet Intra-Venously, STAT. ... What can I say, I'm an addict. ... And so the addict makes his triumphant return to updating the web page. ... This, after almost 3 whole fucking months without internet at home. ... And God help me if I could update my page at work. (There's no way. Work fire walls everything including MSN, Hotmail, Gmail and google MAPS, even...)

So really, I've done really really well. ... For the past 2.5 months I've had extremely limited internet access. So much so that I've been going to internet cafes like 3 times a week to get my fix. ... wtf. ... Alright. ... So it's been long awaited, but I'm here now. ... I probably promised some of you that I'd post every week. ... Well fuck, I'm sorry. ... But now I have so much to say I'll probably post every single day from now until ... ... uh ... maybe next Thursday?

So. ... Where to begin? ... I love London and London loves me? ... I think that about sums it all up. ... More later, it's time for me to surf the net. Me and the W-W-W have a lot of catching up to do ...

I love you TCP/IP ...

I love you HTTP ...

I love you XML ...

my GOD I love you, Internet.