back

If at first you don't succeed: cry, cry again ...

Feb. 20, 2006 - Monday

--- Monday night ... feeling groovy ---

Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. ... It wasn't so much the "wrong" side as it was the side that I don't normally get up on. ... Maybe it was the right side. ... In fact, today I got up earlier than I've gotten up in months. ... Today I got to work on time. ... And due to lack of extra sleep in the morning, today I fell asleep at work an inordinate number of times. ... Today my manager had a little pep talk with me...

"Sleeping is giving in ... no matter what the time is. ... Sleeping is giving in ... so lift those heavy eyelids"

Today I didn't feel so bad for being a worker bee. ... Today I listened to the entire Joy Division discography on repeat. ... Today at lunch, I decided to go veggie. ... Then at 3 pm, I decided to go veggie for a week. ... and at 3:13, decided maybe I'd try a month. ... Today is a day for inventing just for kicks...

"Happiness ... more or less ... it's just a change in me, something in my liberty ..."

Today the half-empty/half-full glass gets tossed to the floor and smashed into a million pieces. ... I laugh and grab another glass. ... Today I choose chunky over smooth peanut butter. ... Today I choose the red tie over the blue. ... Today I wear white socks with the black dress shoes...

"The black will be white and the white will be black, but the blues are still blue..."

Today I had dinner and drinks with a visiting friend. ... Dinner and drinks was preceded by drinks, and followed up with drinks. ... Today I am drunk on nothing at all. ... Today's dinner conversation made me re-realize that people don't have to stand out in a crowd. ... Today I re-realized that standing out for one person is enough...

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world..."

Today I waited 3 subways before getting on. ... Today I stood still on every escalator. ... Today I took the long way home. ... Today I read the classifieds. ... Today I laughed out loud at a CEO... and then laughed out loud at a homeless man. ... Today I thought about what God's favorite rock band would be...

"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humour ... and when I die, I expect to find him laughing..."

Today is now 35 mintutes old, and is no longer today: it is now... today. ... Today I sleep.

"Today is the greatest ... day I've ever known..."

Well, maybe not the greatest... But I sure feel better now...

Feb. 13, 2006 - Monday

--- #2 ... clothing optional ---

George Kostanza from Seinfeld always took a dump with his shirt off. ... Good on you, George! ... I'm with George; taking a dump with your shirt off is the best. ... I've been doing it since I was in grade school ... even AT school. ... Yep, I'd hang my t-shirt on that ghetto rack in the boys' room stall and let fly the remains of my daily morning PopTart breakfast. ... I dunno what it is about the topless dump, but it's just more comfortable. ...

Now ... yesterday night I took a shower and immediately had to go #2 after. ... So I toweled off ... combed my ragged head of hair ... and sat on the throne ... naked. ... ... It was an epiphanous moment. ... The naked dump. ... ... BETTER than the topless dump. ... And I'm here telling you that you have to try it. ... The benfits are endless. ... You can stretch out your legs as wide as you want. ... You're no longer confined by your underwear elastic or pants ... You can just stretch out your legs with maximum feet seperation like a sumo wrestler getting into the ring. ... It's amazing ... 10 times better than the naked pee.

Feb. 07, 2006 - Tuesday

--- GUITAR SOLO!!!!!!! ... ---

Wow. ... Prince is STILL awesome! ...

Prince is awesome

Feb. 06, 2006 - Monday

--- narcoleptic insomniac ---

For the last two weeks I have been unable to get to sleep before 3 am. ... And for the last two weeks, I've consistently woken up late and either barely made it into work on time, or arrived flat-out late. ... ... Once again, I have a weird combination of narcolepsy and insomnia. ... I am narcoleptic insomniac. ... Hear me roar. ... I thought I lost this in University. ... It's like jet-lag without actually flying. (Do you think jet-lag without the actual jet should just be called "lag"?) ...

I think it all stemmed from a night out at an Indian restaurant that gave me some mean food poisoning. ... It was the kind where you're throwing up one minute, and sitting on the can the next. ... I like to call this "puke-arrhea" ... But a more enduring name I've recently given it is: "The out-both-ends fuck you McSpecial" ... ... At least it wasn't at the same time. :)

Alright, I think I've painted a pretty enough picture. ... So, on to some long overdue rants. ...

I was doing my normal music web-zine reading when I had a curious thought. ... Why do they still call Music singles a 7" single? .. ... we all know they're gonna come out on CD. ... We all know people are going to buy the CD ... or even just download it. ... Where I recognize that the industry wants to hold on to tradition, how do you call a 3 inch CD a 7" single? ... And what about file downloads? ... 7 inches implies a physical measurement. ... What're you gonna call a downloadable song? ... a 128 bit stream single? ... Maybe I'm just being picky. ...

In other news, I am now fully re-addicted to downloadable TV. ... 24 is back on with season 5 and I'm hooked. ... Is the show good? ... I suppose it's okay, but I swear that FOX somehow loads CRACK into the gamma rays that come from the screen and somehow get you addicted. ... Radiation heroin or something. ... In addition, I've started downloading Korean soap opears with English subtitles to improve my Korean. ... Do not ... I say again, DO NOT start watching Korean dramas ... I will give you a bunch of good reasons:

1. Horrible actors. ... I don't even speak a whole lot of Korean, but I know these actors suck. ...
2. Predictable story lines. ... Okay so Koreans are actually known for making fairly involved twists in their stories. ... But the general feeling is there ... Love triangle, someone rich with an identity crisis, someone poor with a humble heart, people break ties and go and do new things with new people, the main characters somehow reunite after 87 years of seperation, they fall in love and ruin the other people's lives, but it doesn't matter cause the main characters end up being with the person they knew when they were both 7 years old and played rock paper scissors by the Korean monkey bars. ...
3. Water Water Water. ... These shows must spend tons on water bills. ... In every sad scene, it's raining. ... And every time it's raining someone is crying. ... Every girl cries at least 14 times per episode. ... Fuck it, even the guys cry at least a few times too. ... Now, there are approximately 400 sad scenes per hour-episode so ... I'd hazard a guess that when I watch these shows, I spend about 70% of the time watching people cry ... and feeling really uncomfortable. ... ... or laughing at the crying people.
4. BAD soundtracks. ... Music matters, 'nuff said.
5. And last but not least: ... You WILL get hooked on it. ... No matter how much the previous 4 points I've made have bashed Korean soap operas, I cannot stress how hard it is to stop watching them. ... ... 24? ... Lost? ... Sopranos, even? ... They got nothing on these Korean dramas. ... Just like Sir Mix-A-Lot said: "I'm hooked and I can't stop staring, oh BABY" ...

If anyone is curious as to which series I'm watching right now, it's called "Autumn story" ... Is it bad? YES... Are the girls hot? YES... Is everyone crying all the time? YES... Am I going to skip going out with my friends and start giving lame excuses because I'll be stuck at home under a Hello Kitty blanket and watching Korean dramas with a bowl of Kimchi and a box of Kleenex? ... The answer is ... yes.

On one final and utterly random note ... here is Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer from 24 ... in a series of Japanese TV commercials. ... I can hear you laughing already.

http://www.japander.com/japander/sutherland.htm