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enlighten up...

May 26, 2006 - Friday

--- deeelight ---

Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night

East meets West... and I meet Istanbul. T-minus 12 hours... Pictures and posts when I get back... WOO HOO!

May. 25, 2006 - Thursday

--- 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. switch ---

tell me and I'll forget
show me and I'll remember
involve me and I'll understand

May 24, 2006 - Wednesday

--- New York! ... Quiet down I need to make a sound ---

So the new Apple Store has opened on 5th avenue in NYC... It's open 24/7, 365 days a year... so you can get your 4 am fix for an iPod shuffle when there's nothing else to eat... yeah ... I think it's pretty brutal that there's a store you can go to on Christmas morning, or New Year's eve. ... Or even, *gasp* Ash Wednesday...

Before I go on anymore anti-capitalist rants (I'm using an Apple computer, drinking a Coke and finishing a McDonalds BigMac) I want to point out something pretty funny on the new Apple store's website. Bear with me, but if you have about 45 seconds, try this on your computer right now:

- Go to http://www.apple.com/retail/fifthavenue/
- Click the link for 05:00. It's one of the hours in the first 24 hours of the store's opening
- Now sit and watch the lower part of the screen just a bit left of centre.
- You're looking for a Chinese guy holding a sign. He'll come into the picture in 30 seconds or so.

Voila... That little gem is etched into the Apple website forever ...

pretty funny / omgwtf... I need a life

May 22, 2006 - Monday

--- London! ... Quiet down I need to make a sound ---

public farts...

Happens to the best of us. ... Old, young... Men, women... Beautiful, fugly... It happens to us all... Sometimes those damn sphincter muscles are hungover or preoccupied or just plain lazy... Sometimes we break wind in a public place and there's nothing to do but laugh ... or pretend it wasn't you ... or run ... ... run for your life.

I fart a lot. ... They say the average person let's loose 14 times a day. ... But my friends will tell you that I can surpass that number in an hour, tops. ... Yeah, I've done a whole lot of public-farting in my 26 years, so I can easily make a list of top 5 embarrassing public situations in which to fart.

oh hey! ... Look, I have just such a list! ...

The top 5 most embarrassing places in which to publicly fart:
5. Giving a speech... Yeah I've done it. And it's bad cause you have multiple witnesses... Guilty as charged.
4. Sitting around at work. ... If you let one go that's loud enough and everyone turns, that's the worst. This is worse than a speech-fart because at least with a speech, everyone's already focused on you. ... But when you fart at work and people turn and then focus on you unexpectedly ... yeah ... embarrassing.
3. On a date... Been there, done that... And man-oh-man is it hard to salvage conversation if it's not a girl who's really cool or comfortable with it. If you get one of those girls, then great! ... But if you don't, then you'll have to assume she's going to tell all her friends and then you can't set up your buddies with any of them, let alone get a second date with the girl...
2. Elevator... This one takes incredibly horrific timing... Let's say you've gotta let one rip while you're getting into an elevator by yourself... You press your floor and as the doors close you let the BRAPS go and laugh in your head at how naughty you're being. ... but THEN... All of a sudden like in that movie "Aliens", a hand reaches out and keeps the doors from closing. ... Somone else is getting in!! ... And it's a "silent but deadly" fart... You're trapped. ... "game over man! ... GAME OVER!"

And the number one worst public fart EVER in history:
1. ... in the elevator at my apartment in London... sweating and carrying heavy grocery bags... listening to M.I.A. at levels loud enough to not hear the outside world... standing beside that cute girl from floor 9... knowing that the extra loud machine-gun fart I let rip is going to smell... and that she definitely heard it, even though I didn't because of the music in my ears... doh

I guess the next time I see her in the apartment pool, I can greet her with a wave... ... or some bubbles.

May 20, 2006 - Saturday

--- N/A ---

Earlier this week I had a conversation with some lads about the new way to ask for someone's digits. ... Well, it wasn't really about getting digits, but more about getting someone's MSN/AIM/Yahoo/ICQ ... ... It really has shifted. A phone number is something you ask for if you're really hardcore or really looking to call them. ... An MSN email is "safer" to ask for and somehow become more politically correct. ... anyway ...

We were watching Family Guy at the time of the conversation and I couldn't help but think about what MSN is really like. ... This is my take:

Logging on to MSN is like a kid going out to an empty street and calling out: "hello? ... hello? ... is anyone there?" ... Then some kid jumps out from behind a garbage can and says: "hey what's up!? .. :)" ... Sometimes you have kids on a street corner sleeping against a pole and you call out to them .. but they don't answer cause they're away ... or busy ... or NOT AVAILABLE ... And sometimes you have kids who are there and doing stuff ... and you call out and call out to them ... but they don't answer. ... even though they know you're there. ...

okay so it was funnier in my head when I thought about it. ...

Here's something funny to make up for it. ... I love Japanese people:

I love Japanese people. They are funny.

--- updates ---

A little bit of spring cleaning...
- Removed the ellipsis section. I haven't updated it in ages anyway.
- Added Toan Duy's site... He's an old buddy from class who's now living in Japan. ... To prey on innocent school girls.
- Added Cheryl and Ganan's trip through Asia blog. It's called Geryl... I miss you kids. Can't wait to meet up and hear all the stories.
- Added Michelle's blog. ... She wears shirt skirts.
- Removed a few sites of people who are lame and no longer update. ... You guys suck.

May. 08, 2006 - Monday

--- overdue ---

Another Monday post. ... Why does this always happen? ...

Anyway, I'm gonna keep this one short and sweet. ... I've put up two (sorta) new albums from my trips to Torino and Amsterdam in Feb. and Mar., respectively. Check out the pictures section! ... ... I just came off a trip to Cyprus, but I don't have the photos for them and I expect to post them sometime in the year 2017. ...

I've been thinking ... Do gay guys get horny when they look at their own dick? ... And does masturbation, in turn, become a wholly more fulfilling experience for them? ... hmmmmmm.