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If hindsight is 20/20, then maybe I have x-ray vision? ...
Mar. 12, 2007 - Monday
--- Fuck you I won't do what you tell me ---
"A good song should make you wanna tap your feet and get with your girl. A great song should destroy cops and set fire to the suburbs. I’m only interested in writing great songs."
-- Tom Morello, Rage Against the Machine
I can't wait for Coachella...
Mar. 04, 2007 - Sunday
--- The fax of life ---
Car rentals… towels… little bottles of lotion… carry on suitcases… boarding passes… receipts… little bars of soap… USA today on my doorstep… wake up calls… Bibles… windows that don't open… buckets of ice… security checks… 6 pillows… do not disturb…
Dick in a box? … Life in a box…
I have trouble hanging my clothes up in hotel closets. I just finished my third week working in Atlanta and I haven't hung a single article of clothing in the hotel closet. I haven't used the dresser to put my foldable clothes in. I've barely been able to take my toiletries out of my toiletries travel bag, aside from my shampoo… which sits alone in the corner of the shower... Everything else I have stays in my carry on suitcase, which sits on a chair beside my bed. ... I'm eating room service for the first time in my life. The first 2 or 3 times I had it, I couldn't help but stare at my plate for 5 minutes before actually starting to eat. The meal was made for me a few floors below and brought to my doorstep because I'm too lazy (scared?) to go down and eat in the back corner of a restaurant in a hotel that I don't want to be in. … It's weird not just because it's weird... But because if I was here on vacation, it'd be totally different.
The movies may try. … Bill Murray sits alone in a hotel suite while Kevin Shield's ethereal score plays in the background. Scene cuts to Scarlett Johansson in her underwear, smoking a cigarette on her hotel bed. … Try as they may. … Sean Penn opens the hotel curtains and a sleeping Naomi Watts blinks as the blinding light comes through the window. … Try, try again. …
In the movies, loneliness in the hotel is depressing and beautiful…
In reality, it's just depressing.
I've never had seasonal depression before. … But for the last few weeks, I'm experiencing a weird weekly depression. Well maybe it's more like weekly bi-polar disorder. Blue Monday doesn't do justice to my Mondays. I'm never more drained and pissed off than checking into a hotel on a Monday. By mid-week I get used to it and go into routine zombie mode. By Thursday things are looking up cause I drag my ass outta room-service land and take a peek at the city. Interesting city, sort of. … And by Friday? … Friday I'm in love. I can't even sleep on the plane ride back to Toronto cause I'm so excited to land and let Mr. Hyde run wild for 48 hours... Dr. Jekyll is miles away…
And there you have it. The life of a consultant. Well, maybe the life of a melodramatic consultant. It probably isn't as bad as I make it out to be and I'm sure I might get used to it. But that's the fear: that I'll get used to it. It's the first time I've had to travel back and forth every week for work. Plenty of people do it. But the epiphany for me is that I cannot.
Ah well...
I'm sorry. Pardon me? ...
Oh... two packets of peanuts and a ginger-ale, please.
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